The Swine

I only have two days left of maternity leave.  I am trying not to think about it, but I'm a little scared.  I know it will only make my time at home in the evenings more meaningful with Norah, and that I don't have anything to worry about as far as her being taken care of.  We're blessed in many ways, one of which being that we live within half an hour of all of our parents and grandparents.  So, Norah will spend a day or two every week with my mom, Matt's mom, my dad, or my Grandma.  They did an okay job raising us, so I'm sure Norah will be in good hands.  I hope that they don't tell me too much though.  I'm the type of person who would rather not know that she took her first step without me; I'd rather bask in my ignorance under that false belief that all of her "firsts" will happen at home with us.  Norah will be in good hands.  Hopefully I can keep up with the dropping off/work all day/picking up/make dinner/homework/housework routine.  That's a little daunting.

I am also a little scared about going back to work, separate of the leaving Norah aspect.  I have been in a few times to pick up the grade book, etc., and I know that H1N1 is going around, as well as the seasonal flu.  I know that I can help myself to not get the flu by getting the flu shot(s), which I have not yet done, and here's my flawed reasoning:  every time I have ever gotten the flu shot, I have gotten more frequently and severely ill that season.  When I don't get the flu shot, I don't get the flu.  This reasoning was okay in the past, as I only had to worry about myself.  What I am confused about is how getting the flu shot(s) will help Norah.  I get that it will improve my chances of avoiding infection (supposedly) but what about the germs that I will be bringing home on my body, clothes, and other belongings?  Even if I'm not sick, won't I still be a germ transportation vessel from school to home?  There's only so much that obsessive hand washing can do.  Having said that, I still want the shot(s).  I think.