...it's been a busy December/January. In addition to the holiday hustle, I finished my masters degree. I am so glad that I am done. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted, and I will reclaim 10-12 hours of my free time for every week.
I'm excited to have the time I need to work on my plan for 2010. I don't really like to make "resolutions" every year, because inevitably, I fail. If I make a plan for the year and just treat it like a goal, I have more success. No clue why. Anyway, here's where I'm putting my extra effort this year:
1) Taking better care of myself: I am notoriously horrible about exercising, and equally terrible about making good food choices. It is no secret to the world that I have struggled with my weight. I realized recently that I have been the same shameful weight for the past six years, minus the few months that I weighed less (thanks to our wedding or post-partum weight loss). While there's something to be said for consistency, the idea that I have gotten used to being so unhealthy is very disturbing. In addition to that, I have noticed that even though I weight the same amount, my weight is now distributed differently... ick. My goal is to lose 5 percent of my starting body weight by June, and 10 percent by August; I'd also like to be able to "run" for 30 minutes straight by August. That doesn't seem like much, but I'd probably have a hard time with 2 minutes right now. I'm going to approach this by using Weight Watchers to change my eating habits, moving more (elliptical, wii fit, walking, gardening, etc.), and sitting less. To me, sitting less means limiting my computer time and tv time. I know that I can do this because I've done it before. I need to make this time different by continuing my success and setting further goals, instead of being satisfied by meeting my first goal.
2) Be happier: I have heard from three totally unrelated people in the past month that joy is a choice. I completely agree with this, but unfortunately it's easier to agree with than put into practice. It's so easy to dwell on the things that make life complicated. When I get into a rut, I tend to only notice the little rain clouds everywhere I go. When I make an effort to notice the good things in my life, it seems like there are so many things to be happy about. I'm going to be a happier person, and to me that means: having tons of gratitude for everything I've been blessed with, taking every opportunity I can to show kindness and act softly and gently, and choosing to look on the bright side. This last one goes against every molecule I'm made of; I tend to look on the dark side because it's easier to expect the worst and get the best out of a situation than it is to expect the best and get the worst. It's sort of an internally ingrained safeguard against disappointment. But, maybe with this happier, more optimistic outlook, I will be able to handle disappointment. At the very least, it will be nice not to be full of the mental/emotional toxins that negative thought can bring.
3) Restore my faith: I have been putting my faith on the back burner for a long time, and I feel like it's been forever since I've had a real conversation in prayer. I want my daughter to know who God is, and I want to be able to set a good example for her, spiritually. I'm not quite sure how to accomplish this, but I know that I can start by taking the time every day to listen for God and to talk with Him. I also need to find a church nearby for us to go to. I have learned by now that it's impossible to out-plan God. His plan will always take over my own plans, so for this personal goal, I think it's ok to not really have a plan. I just have to be more spiritually conscious and pray more.
4) Make friends: I have never been a social genius. I truly believe that I have made every friend that I have today despite my social misgivings, and because my friends are tremendously understanding people. It's not that the friends that I have are not enough to fill my life with laughter; I feel like I don't interact enough or connect with people. I don't have "work" friends. I either assume that people don't want to get to know me, or when I do finally connect with someone at work... I don't know how to bridge that gap (the divide between being friends who chat only at work versus friends who work together and do things outside of work as well). It's very strange. It's like asking someone out on a date, almost. It makes my hands sweaty. When Matt and I realized that all of our "couple friends" are moving far far away, I resorted to googling "couple friends" to see if there was some sort of play-date organizer or eharmony for platonic relationships. What I found was not entirely wholesome, nor was it what we were looking for. Anyway, I am going to take more social risks. Maybe this just means being more outgoing. Maybe I will actually have to step up to the plate and take the initiative to start conversations. Maybe finding a church home will help, too. I don't know. But, here's to social anxiety and learning how to behave normally.
5) Expand my skills and follow my interests: I have been a musician for so long, I feel like that's the only hobby I can list on questionnaires and applications. I think that I can learn to do many other things well, and I need to grow in other areas. One area I'd like to spend more time working in is scrapbooking. I've always loved it, but it takes so much time... what a creative and beautiful way to archive family photos, vacations, etc. I love holding a finished scrapbook in my hands and knowing that something has been documented forever. Another area I'd like to pursue is gardening. I started gardening last year with the best of intentions and superhuman ambition, but then third trimester hit and it was too hot to walk outside, and it was certainly too much to ask for me to bend over or squat down and pull weeds. My flower beds were mediocre, but at least I got perennials rooted pretty well. The vegetable garden was a zucchini and cherry tomato factory... and then I let it turn into a jungle mid-July. Now that I know which vegetables and flowers need room to spread, need full sun, and are somewhat easy to cultivate, I am going to plan my garden and flower beds now. Hopefully, a carefully planned garden will lead to less produce-shopping at the grocery, lower expenses, and fresher eating. It would be extra-cool to have a salsa row, where plants specific to salsa-making could grow. I know this is not a new idea, but it sounds exciting. I'm also planning on using the veggies and the apples from our trees to make some baby food and homemade applesauce. Any little bit helps. The last thing I'd like to learn is how to knit. Or crochet. I'm not sure which is easier. I've always had an interest in being able to make things for myself, but I have failed miserably at knitting on several occasions. Now that I have "nothing else to do," I should be able to muster up the patience.
Ok, there they are. Down in print. Five simple goals that I can take one day at a time. I know that every one of them will make a huge difference in my life, and in my family's lives.
1 comment:
Those are great goals! I have a couple thoughts.
1. I'm trying to get better about this too. My friend gave me a great training schedule for working up to a 5K run. I can email it to you if you want. We are also joining a Community Supported Agriculture group (like a co-op that you get fresh organic produce and meat from once a week) to help with the healthy eating part of things.
2. I have to constantly remind myself to choose joy. It's hard. But one thing that helps me is to start off the day being grateful. When I lay in bed in the morning, I try to list all of the things I am grateful for. It just helps me get my mind and heart in the right place to start the day.
3 and 4. I think finding a church will help with both of these. We went to Vineyard Westside and LOVED it. I know that's far from where you live, but I would recommend checking out a Vineyard that's close to you. Vineyard Community Church is good (but may be too far) and I think there's one in Middletown called Vineyard Christian Fellowship, but I don't know anything about that one. Once you find a church, I would encourage you to get into a small group. I met my best friends in the whole world in small groups. It's life changing.
5. Making time for hobbies is always tough for girls I think. We get so consumed with taking care of our kids, husbands, house, etc that we don't leave any time to devote to fun things for us. I hope that you can carve out some time for yourself! Good luck.
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